i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
