Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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