yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
