you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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