Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
