This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
