woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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