it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
