i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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