is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
