Kiss
Puke
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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