Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize