she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
