He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i think my mom watched the whole time
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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