What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
