i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize