the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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