I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
