ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
