don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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