this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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