it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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