Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
