nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
