White coat. Heels.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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