i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
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Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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