Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
as a side note pls kill me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
