Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
