Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
