why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
