I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
