Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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