operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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