And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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