I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
