i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize