she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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