Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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