is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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