ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
