i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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