its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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