ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize