You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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