Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
