I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
