I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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