He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
