Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
