I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
