This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
