if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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