I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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