I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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