I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
