hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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