the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
