I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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