My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
