The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
