I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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