Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
