You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
