we're blogging at a bar
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
